Social Media

One day, I watched another classmate of mine write the word “Popular” over and over again on her English folder. I was by no means the most popular kid at school, but I’d learned that the more you strove to gain admittance into the exclusive clique, the faster the entire herd of cool kids galloped away over the horizon. I predicted that she would be left in a swirling cloud of dust wondering how all her careful observation and practiced imitation backfired.

Begging for acceptance is the most direct route to rejection. That time and energy would be better spent learning how to love oneself and encouraging others to do the same.

Why is it that people who are comfortable in their own skin never have a shortage of friends? They give other people the freedom to drop all pretense and facades and simply be themselves. That kind of confidence is magnetic.

These principles hold true in virtual communities like Facebook and Twitter.

Behind the profiles, pictures, videos, notes, posts, and avatars are people just like you and me. Networking sites are built around relationships-people interacting with other people, and the same etiquette that governs face-to-face interactions carries over to these online communities. The social graces or personality traits that enable some people to navigate conversations, parties, and meetings with ease will also attract people online.

Have a personality, but don’t come on too strong. People who promote themselves to the excess will encounter lots of closed doors. People who share too much may find people ignoring their spam. People who never respond to messages, add friends, or update content will frustrate and ultimately alienate their online friends. These blunders undermine meaningful connections with others.

Before you slander your ex-girlfriend, complain about your boss, or write a lewd or profane account of the weekend’s indiscretions, consider the immediate and long-term consequences of your actions.

As the book of Proverbs says, “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.”

Social media are social. Treat people online how you would treat them in person-how you want to be treated.